Big Toys for Big Joy, Part 2
[This is part two of an introduction to sex toys column, to see the article regarding vaginal stimulation, click HERE!]
I’d like to start off by saying that I hate, absolutely hate the stigma associated with sex toys and penises. So many people with penises are told that sex toys ‘aren’t meant for them’ and that they are ‘creepy.’ Part of my desire as a feminist is to level the playing field in the bedroom – and that means sexual pleasure for all! So in continuation with my last column, this installment will focus on sex toys for penis havers!
If you’ve never seen one of these babies, I can only encourage you to flesh them out. A fleshlight functions as an orifice to stimulate the penis, some look more vaginal and some look more anal. There are plenty on the market but, for this product, I recommend spending a little more money. If you’re unsure if you’d like the feeling, a cheaper product called the Tenga Silky Egg is available. It is essentially a disposable fleshlight, shaped like an egg, that comes in packages of six. The cool thing about these eggs is that they are disposable and you don’t have to worry about washing it afterwards.
If you enjoy the stimulation of the Tenga Egg, spending money for a quality fleshlight is the way to go. Fleshlights do require washing afterwards, especially if you choose to throw your almonds in there. Simply take your fleshlight out of its hardened tube, run some hot water over a towel and bam! It’s ready to plow! Avoid using soaps or harsh cleaners and clean directly after use to avoid smells. Most fleshlights are made of Cyberskin and they are sensitive to regular soaps. This also brings up a good point regarding lube. With fleshlights, lube is necessary to enjoy quality gliding without too much friction on your penis. The Cyberskin should only be paired with water-based lube as oil-based lube will cause deterioration. Lastly, fleshlights have different kinds of stimulation inside. Some are meant to feel vaginal and others have little bumps for extra pleasure. Don’t just grab a box, check out the details on the side!
If you’ve never experienced a prostate orgasm, you’re in for a treat. From what I’ve been told, it’s like experiencing supernova radiating from the core of your being to your fingertips. Yeah, it’s fucking awesome. However, the prostate is a tricky little animal and can be finicky in relation to attaining that sweet, sweet release. Before buying a prostate stimulator, try a little stimulation on yourself. Lubing up a finger and allowing the anus to relax is important. This might get a little gnarly, but if you ‘push’ your anus out while inserting your finger, it will make insertion easier. This is a tip I give to anyone in anal play. The prostate feels like a hard nubbin inside and is straight back from the anal entry. When you’ve found it, see what kind of pressure you like and how sensitive it is.
From that measure, you can figure out if you want a vibrating stimulator or simply a toy. I always recommend going a bit cheap with these as you explore your depth and the range of stimulation you desire. Prostates work best when things are sliding back and forth, applying pressure to the glorious little nubbin. Sometimes vibrations are a bit too much. With any sex toy, I recommend buying toy cleaner for it, especially since these toys are for anal play. We both know that, while sex is fun, it can get a bit messy. Using the proper cleaner for your toy, unless its glass, won’t leave any trace smells. So when you have to hurriedly throw your toy under your bed, you can thank me for the discretion. Also, you’ll need lots of lube to avoid unnecessary friction on your tender, sexy butt.
You thought they were only for the vagina-havers, didn't you? Nope! Besides a vibrating buttplug, vibrators can absolutely be used on the penis for achieving delicious delights. I recommend getting a mini wand as the handle makes it easier to hold onto. With vibrators for penises, start with something cheap and simple. If you attempt to do anal play with a vibrator instead of a prostate massager, just be careful. The anus has a natural suction and things can get lost! I always say that all anal play should be done with toys that have a flared base.
When you use the vibrator on yourself, try a low setting on your penis head. Rubbing it up and down on your shaft is also really great. Lastly, the perineum, also known as a ‘taint,’ is surprisingly close to the prostate. Putting the vibrator on a higher setting and resetting it against your perineum while you stimulate the shaft can supposedly do wonders.
If you decide to branch out and buy all three of my newbie sex toy recommendations, I would advise having fun and using all three in one day. This is after you figure yourself out of course. All in all, there are numerous toys out there for penis-havers but this is a great start. Play safe, enjoy yourself and never be ashamed to give yourself mind blowing end games!